We’ve always had sexual fantasies, and we always will. Most people long to discover something new and novel in an environment where everyone feels safe, with someone experienced in the field.
It’s important not to feel bad about having these thoughts and fantasies.
However, everything has its own way and process. It’s important to respect your own and your partner’s boundaries and maintain open communication.
Of course, it’s completely natural to worry about the situation: because you don’t know how and in what way to share these feelings with your partner. That’s why in this article, we share useful tips that you can apply in practice.
This article will cover the following topics:
First, let’s look at the most common sexual desires people want to experience.
There are so many different desires and fetishes that it’s hard to order and systematize them. You might find among them what stirs your fantasy.
Probing passionate imaginations: BDSM
BDSM is an acronym for Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism.
If you haven’t encountered it, in short, it involves one party taking on a dominant role (dom or domina), while the other plays a submissive role.
BDSM often (but not exclusively) involves pain, punishment, and physical restraint, a kind of power play. However, it’s important that it’s not only about the physical but also at least as much – if not more – about the mental aspects.
According to a Bedbible survey, 57.6% have not yet tried BDSM, while 42.4% have.
Of those who haven’t tried it, 76.8% said they would like to explore these types of desires.
Interestingly,
- men (59.6%) fantasize significantly more about dominating someone
- women (64.6%) reported fantasizing significantly more about being submissive to someone
And what should you consider if you want to try BDSM? Here are some tips.
Discretion
Find a partner who is discreet, so you can freely explore your sexual desires without worrying about what others think and without fearing social stigmatization, as everything stays behind closed doors.
Experience
Some are more deeply and thoroughly familiar with various BDSM techniques. Therefore, sex provides a safe and enjoyable experience. In BDSM, where fantasies like breath control or caning might be involved, safety is very important.
Fulfilling your wildest fantasies
You might have specific BDSM fantasies that you can only experience with someone you trust and who fits the sought role (e.g., domina, sub, etc.). Moreover, there are partners who specialize in certain types of BDSM and have the appropriate equipment for it.
Unraveling intimate dreams: transvestite (shemale)
Being with “shemales” is also a common sexual fantasy.
The term “shemale” usually refers to transgender women who still have certain masculine features, such as male genitalia, while in other respects (e.g., dressing, behavior, hormone treatments, and breast implants) they are completely feminine.
Don’t feel uncomfortable if you have such types of fantasies, as they are extremely common among heterosexual men too. And why do men crave shemales?
Curiosity
Many seek a new, unique, and exciting experience, and are simply intrigued by what sex with a transgender woman would be like.
Bisexual or queer desires
Here you have the opportunity to explore your hidden bisexual or queer desires with a partner who is discreet and experienced.
Taboo
In most societies, attraction to trans people is still treated as a taboo, and being with a transgender person satisfies this craving for the forbidden fruit.
Analyzing sensual scenarios: threesome
In a “threesome,” three parties participate in the sexual act.
A threesome can take different forms:
- MFF: Male-Female-Female – one man, two women
- MMF: Male-Male-Female – two men, one woman,
- or even all three participants of the same gender (MMM or FFF).
The spice lies in the fact that all participants are present and play an active role during the encounter.
According to statistics, a threesome is one of the most common sexual fantasies: 95% of men and 87% of women have fantasized about this.
But why do men long for this? It’s not hard to guess.
Excitement
A threesome takes the act to a new level, with multiple partners engaging in sexual contact simultaneously.
Involvement of a third party
For those in relationships, involving a third party spices up a stagnant sexual life.
Bisexual desires
A threesome provides an opportunity for both men and women to experience and explore their bisexual desires.
Researching sensual thoughts: role play
Role-playing is also a very common sexual fantasy. In this, participants experience various sexual fantasies through different characters or situations.
Classic examples include:
- teacher-student,
- stewardess-pilot,
- doctor/nurse-patient,
- boss-secretary, and others.
This kind of play requires some preliminary agreement and communication to be clear about desires and boundaries.
Role plays involve a kind of power play; dominance and submission, which intensifies sexual tension.
Why someone would want to participate in role play can have several different reasons.
Experimentation
Role play offers the opportunity to try new things and uncover hidden desires that you wouldn’t dare to realize under other circumstances.
Living the fantasy
With the right partner, you can realize fantasies that you have longed for and that you cannot or do not want to live out in a traditional relationship. Plus, role play spices up a duller, vanilla type of sexual life.
Discovering libidinous wishes: rough sex
Some crave more intense, rough sex. Rough sex can range widely, from simpler spanking, biting, hair pulling, and dirty talk to strictly consensual “rape fantasies” and the harder line of BDSM.
Thus, rough sex is often linked to certain elements of BDSM, such as various power plays or a special mix of pain and pleasure. And why?
Liberating feeling
Rough sex is a carefree feeling that pulls you out of the grayness of everyday life.
Loss or gain of control
Many find the sensation of losing control in bed, being commanded by someone else, to be exciting. Conversely, others find the opposite — exerting control over their partner — to be thrilling.
Extra adrenaline and endorphin
During rougher sex, adrenaline levels rise, and endorphins (happiness hormones) are released, causing euphoria and intense orgasms.
Pay attention to safety words
When trying rougher sex with someone, make sure that the circumstances are clarified beforehand and based on mutual agreement and communication. In such cases (especially during the aforementioned BDSM), it might be necessary to use safety words. When these are said, the other party must stop. This knowledge helps to relax and provides a sense of safety.
Examining carnal daydreams: anal sex
If you’re curious about what it’s like to involve the buttocks in sexual play, you’re not alone, as it’s an extremely popular fantasy.
Anal play includes fingering, stimulation with the tongue, the use of toys, and of course, actual penetration.
Anal sex is a source of pleasure for both genders, but it requires proper communication and caution.
Why someone might want to try the “backdoor” can have various reasons.
Taboo
Anal sex is considered taboo in many societies, and the feeling of the “forbidden fruit” certainly heightens the excitement. However, with the right partner, you can safely and discreetly experience your desires.
The charm of novelty
For those who have not yet tried anal sex, experiencing this form of sex with an experienced partner offers a new and exciting experience.
Different type of orgasm
The buttock area is extremely sensitive and causes a completely different type of orgasm for both parties.
Prostate stimulation
Direct stimulation of the prostate, or the so-called “male G-spot,” intensifies orgasms. Understandably, many men find it hard to communicate this. However, with a person with whom one is sufficiently intimate, one can also experience this type of fantasy.
Important to pay attention to each other
Make sure you’re adequately prepared, take enough time for relaxation, lubrication, and gradual penetration.
Uncovering intimate fantasies: pornstar fantasy
Many people watch porn films, and many would like to be part of such an experience. (Without having to stand in front of a camera.)
But what can you expect from such a partner?
Outstanding sexual experience
Pornstars have outstanding routine and a wide repertoire that fully satisfies your needs.
The experience itself
The pornstar experience (PSE) is completely different from, for example, the “girlfriend experience” (GFE), which is why many want to try it out.
Investigating erotic dreams: communicating desires
Many are afraid to share their various sexual fantasies with others, mostly because they are ashamed of them and afraid of the other person’s reaction. When you finally decide to share this with your partner, it’s very important to be aware of a few things.
Trust
You definitely need to develop a certain level of trust with the other person. This takes time, so before you share your fantasies with them, get to know each other well enough to avoid disappointment.
Timing matters
A restaurant or the middle of a party is not the most appropriate place to share your sexual fantasies with someone. It’s best to talk about this in a place where both of you feel comfortable.
Awareness
Be clear about what your true desires are. Give yourself time and think them through, and it’s best to write them down on paper. This helps to concretize and clarify exactly what you want.
Communication
When you share your fantasies with the other party, always be clear and straightforward, don’t beat around the bush.
However, two-way communication is very important, so ask what they think about each desire. And respect their boundaries: if they say no to something, don’t force it.
Be sure to always be respectful and correct in conversation.
Safety words
We’ve already touched on the topic earlier, but now it’s worth talking a bit more about it. If you want to experience more intense things (strangulation, BDSM, spanking, S/M, etc.), then come up with safety words. These can be used to directly signal the other party if either of you feels uncomfortable or wants to stop.
Discretion and privacy
While clear communication is important, it’s also essential to keep in mind the other person’s private sphere. Don’t forget about discretion and etiquette rules.
What to pay attention to?
It’s important that you adhere to mutually agreed-upon boundaries in every case. Of course, the experience may be so intense and good for both of you that you might be able to stretch (or even break) these limits. Therefore, not only pre-sex, but also continuous communication during sex is important.
Be careful with safe sex, especially if your partner is not a regular one, then definitely use a condom. This way, everyone can have carefree fun. (There’s no way around it, both of you need to stick to this.)
Exploring sexual fantasies: summary
Sexuality is a game in which two (or more) participate. It’s important to follow the rules of the game, and it’s also important that everyone feels good. If you pay enough attention to the above things, you don’t have to be afraid to share your desires with others while Exploring Sexual Fantasies.
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